Removing a Holding Tank is a Dirty Job
Last weekend Scott and I took the holding tank out of our boat. It is important to know that the “holding tank” is what holds all the contents of our marine toilet. It was huge, cumbersome, took up a significant amount of precious lazarette locker space and it needed to go. Once we’re in the ocean we won’t need it anyway, as ships are allowed to pump the contents of their toilets overboard. This is probably news to you non-boaters, and I’m sorry to be the one to give it to you, but yes, poop (even from cruise ships) is pumped into the ocean. Something about parts per million…
Anyway, in order for us to remove the tank I had to get into said locker with said holding tank in such a way that would have made a Cirque du Soleil performer blush. Seriously, any one that has ANY issue with claustrophobia has no business working on a boat. This is not the first time I have had to crawl into a compartment the size of a car trunk to do “work”. This was, however, the first time I had to crawl into a space that held, for lack of a better word, our “shitter”. Toxic level? We’ll give it a “3″. Disgust level? Off the charts.
Luckily, we’d had the tank pumped out before winter, so *most* of the contents had been removed. In order to get the tank out, I had to unhook two hoses (poop in, poop out). Remember, I am in a teeny tiny locker, it’s about 105 degrees in there, and it smells. Bad. I unhook hose #1, and it comes off clean. Phew. I adjust myself ever so slightly, wipe the sweat out of my eyes with my arm (not using my ecoli infested hands!), and go for #2. It comes off. Not clean. Out pours a couple cups of the most disgusting yellowy-brown lumpy liquid EVER. I scream. I bang around in the locker. Pound the tank with my screw driver. Scream more expletives. Basically, I throw a temper tantrum as best I can while contorted into a pretzel. This is NOT fun. In fact, it is downright disgusting.






